inner Excavations: Sunday Art walk in the Neighborhood

inner Excavation: Document one day in my life in photographs

I was listening to Jamie Ridler's Creative Living podcast, trying to catch up.  Trying to get reignited.  Her guest was Liz Lamoreaux.  I was so impressed by the interview, that when I got home, I googled her website, and purchased her book inner Excavation.  It arrived yesterday.  I did this with Patti Digh's interview and bought her book Life is a Verb.  I started doing all the exercises in Patti's book, but when the kiddos were on summer break, it was difficult to find a quiet moment to journal, or do the given task.  So I decided with this book, I would post it all on my blog.  I felt like I needed to be more accountable. Today's assignment felt a bit like doing Ali Edward's A week in the Life.  I did okay the first half of the day, then the Viking costume I'm making,  took over my focus, and that was that.  Here is a day in my life in photos!

October Full Moon Dream Board

Despite having started my dream board a week ago, I almost chose not to finish it. It was the image of the artist that grabbed me. She is depicted in this month's Oprah (Nov) & I knew she would be my focus. The money came second. I'm desiring more in my life. I finally have the time to work more as a substitute teacher, but because of all the budget cuts in our CA. school, the opportunities are just not arising. But this is not my passion, however it is what finances my passion - my camera and the pictures I take with it are my passion. I would love to develop the confidence in my photography so that I can no longer think about teaching (my former career B.C.) and have a career that I adore & love to do - thus the woman with the camera in the picture. The woman with the happy face is how I want to feel more often. The home and the scene in the back yard is how I want my life, home &  family to feel like - EASY. Though it is the angst that pushes for growth - I know this.

My favorite line on this dream board is: I am demanding of my life whatever is healthy & good for me (grins) I see that as happiness."



Wishcast Wednesday: What Does My Soft Animal Wish For?

"You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what you love."  That is so powerful.  I don't think I quite understood the wishcast until I read Jamie's vulnerability of desire & the poem by Mary Oliver.  What does the soft animal of my body wish for?  This is hard, because I think I've repressed it soo  much.  My soft animal wants the den, a lair that she resides in to be more glamorous.  She wants hard wood floors through out the house, and an art room to hibernate in.  She wants a kitchen with granite counters and large oven to create amazing dinners.  She wants to dwell in a house with beautiful well crafted furniture in the style of Pottery Barn or Restoration Hardware.  She wants her nest egg to be full of money, so full, that there is never a question of can I afford this?  Is it in my budget?  It is painful to dig these desires up.  When does the wishing become a reality?  How do I take the steps to fulfill these yearning?  It seems like longing for something that seems so out of reach of my reality is futile.  But these are what my soft animal wishes for. 

Wishcast Wednesday: What Do I Wish to Fly Free From?

What do I wish to fly free from?  Anger.  Lately I feel so angry, and I don't understand where it is coming from.  It is like this black bile rises up in me, and I feel the need to lash out.  My arms are flailing all around me, uncontrolled.  .  .  . hitting, smacking up against any resistance, making me more frustrated and agitated.  I feel like I need to burst out and fly, but I don't know how to fly, let alone which direction to go.  Parts of that are fear and a lack of confidence - two things I also need to fly free from.